Sitting on the front porch waving at the cars as they pass by, wondering where it is that everyone is headed for, hell it's not even noon yet, I know coz the mail truck hasn't come yet. Yeah waiting on the mail, drinking my coffee, reading the morning paper and waiting on the mail.
Man what a wonderful life, less I get some of them damn bills I can't pay, hell I keep tellin them folks the check is in the mail. They act like I'm lyin to em, hell when I get a check they' ll get a check.
Codgitatin on this when the mail truck comes, wave at Clem, hes our mailman, go and get the mail.
Lands o heaven theres a letter sez I won cash money, yep $100.00 in a check for that amount too. well I run to the house tear of this raggedy ole robe get my O U sweatshirt, run to the back yard and yell at ma to hurry on up we goin to town, to the bank to cash this here check. shes hard of hearing don't you know, so I have to go out by the chicken coop and say hey old lady pack it up we gotta go an cash this here check, and no we ain't stoppin in walmart on the way there neither.
Well Iwalk into the bank and that pretty little redheaded teller sez hi Mr Bob, thats what they've always called me, Mr Bob.
I said hi Leeann, I wanna cash this here check and she says alrighty then let me have it . so I hand her the check to cash she looks at it and sez, Mr Bob there may be a problem here, I said I'll be dammed its a check for a hundred dollars ain't it, and she sez yessir, I say alrighty then cash the dam thing and gimme my `$1oo dollar bill and I'm going to Walmart, she looks at the check again and sez shes gotta git Mr Broomtower to hep her with it could I just sit down and wait a minute, and I sit down to wait.
Mr Broomtower walks up an sez, hi Mr Bob how we can help you today and where's Bess,
well shes sittin in the truck right out there in front. He sez Mr Bob its a hundred degrees out there Bess needs to come in side. I told him she would be fine as theres a water thermos and a can o beer in that truck not to worry, just gimme my $100 dollar bill so I could go to Walmart.
he sez, Mr Bob we gotta problem here this check is for opening a new account that is set up for direct deposit and your social security check and Bess's social security check are already direct deposited here. I said well I'll be dammed, then Ineed 2 of them checks one for me and one for Bess, well he looked at me like I was a loon. he started backin up and said now Mr Bob the problem is I cant give you no check, you already have an account, this here is for a new account.
No problem Mr Broomtower jez close out them 2 accounts and open 2 new ones and gimme $200 dollars and that 'll suit me jez fine. Well Mr Bob we cant........iI'll be dammed you sent me this here check and now you tellin me this check aint no good? No, Mr Bob.......... fine then gimme some $2oo dollars or I'm gonna whup some ass right here, right now, Mr Broomtower turned white as a billy goat and got as nervous as a cow with a buck toothed calf and said, let me make a call to see what can be done.
ok then alrighty.
well whoever he called they got it straightened out and I got (2) 100 dollar bills and hee haw, I still got the damm check too I guess the jokes on them, I'm gonna take it to the check cash place in Tulsa, cash em an head to Walmart.
Man what a wonderful life, less I get some of them damn bills I can't pay, hell I keep tellin them folks the check is in the mail. They act like I'm lyin to em, hell when I get a check they' ll get a check.
Codgitatin on this when the mail truck comes, wave at Clem, hes our mailman, go and get the mail.
Lands o heaven theres a letter sez I won cash money, yep $100.00 in a check for that amount too. well I run to the house tear of this raggedy ole robe get my O U sweatshirt, run to the back yard and yell at ma to hurry on up we goin to town, to the bank to cash this here check. shes hard of hearing don't you know, so I have to go out by the chicken coop and say hey old lady pack it up we gotta go an cash this here check, and no we ain't stoppin in walmart on the way there neither.
Well Iwalk into the bank and that pretty little redheaded teller sez hi Mr Bob, thats what they've always called me, Mr Bob.
I said hi Leeann, I wanna cash this here check and she says alrighty then let me have it . so I hand her the check to cash she looks at it and sez, Mr Bob there may be a problem here, I said I'll be dammed its a check for a hundred dollars ain't it, and she sez yessir, I say alrighty then cash the dam thing and gimme my `$1oo dollar bill and I'm going to Walmart, she looks at the check again and sez shes gotta git Mr Broomtower to hep her with it could I just sit down and wait a minute, and I sit down to wait.
Mr Broomtower walks up an sez, hi Mr Bob how we can help you today and where's Bess,
well shes sittin in the truck right out there in front. He sez Mr Bob its a hundred degrees out there Bess needs to come in side. I told him she would be fine as theres a water thermos and a can o beer in that truck not to worry, just gimme my $100 dollar bill so I could go to Walmart.
he sez, Mr Bob we gotta problem here this check is for opening a new account that is set up for direct deposit and your social security check and Bess's social security check are already direct deposited here. I said well I'll be dammed, then Ineed 2 of them checks one for me and one for Bess, well he looked at me like I was a loon. he started backin up and said now Mr Bob the problem is I cant give you no check, you already have an account, this here is for a new account.
No problem Mr Broomtower jez close out them 2 accounts and open 2 new ones and gimme $200 dollars and that 'll suit me jez fine. Well Mr Bob we cant........iI'll be dammed you sent me this here check and now you tellin me this check aint no good? No, Mr Bob.......... fine then gimme some $2oo dollars or I'm gonna whup some ass right here, right now, Mr Broomtower turned white as a billy goat and got as nervous as a cow with a buck toothed calf and said, let me make a call to see what can be done.
ok then alrighty.
well whoever he called they got it straightened out and I got (2) 100 dollar bills and hee haw, I still got the damm check too I guess the jokes on them, I'm gonna take it to the check cash place in Tulsa, cash em an head to Walmart.
I guess you might say that the moral of this story is, oh hell I don't know you tell me. Just leave little Bob here a comment and tell him what the hell the moral is.
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6 comments:
I know , I know but it could've happened right??
LOL I've ALWAYS wanted to do that.
lol!!! The moral is "what a tangled web we weave when at first we try to deceive...." I guess you haven't gotten that far with the lesson. But since you read my car-wash story, you know I have!!
thanks for visiting me...I'll be catching up on your old posts later. Funny stuff!
Wow, I would like to do that too. Something good happened to me today, I opened a letter and received a check for about $3,300. I already deposited it in my account.
The wonders keep coming in o.o
Funny story. I visualized the whole 'thang'! The moral is "Don't let the big guys trick you!" and "Who cares about fine print!"
Thanks for the Follow and Comment. Your comment is temporarily lost....it fell in the black hole that happens in blogland sometimes. I expect it to reappear shortly! Strange but true!
Well Bob, I have just seen this, and thought lucky you getting a cheque (or check as you call it over there) in the post, over where we live, the bloody postman would have robbed it, and we would have been left with a blank envelope to enjoy!
Good on you for fighting for your money though!!
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