Monday, August 17, 2009

I Am In The Papers ! ! ! [nominated for peoples choice awards]


Sitting on the front porch drinking my coffee, reading the paper, must be round 6:30am by nowI notice the traffic is picking up. Time to move a little closer so I can wave at everybody on their way to work. Reading the paper and I come across this here ad { WANTED YOUR OLD NEWSPAPERS.........WILL PAY 50cents PER POUND........BRING TO OLD HWY 71 NORTH.....ACROSS FROM OLD CHEATUMS TRUCK STOP}


Now here I was reading this ad thinking what kinda fool would pay that price for old news papers. When all of a sudden this big ole truck, painted a god ugly green, pulls up and dumps out the biggest stack of newspapers youd ever saw and kept bringing more. Now I'm not easily riled but this youngun was droppin papers on my favorite daisy bed. I yelled out at him hey fool git them papers offen my daisies. He said yessir where you want em. I said hell I don't care if you put em up your....... but git em off my daisies. Now about this time, some old lady, and I can say old lady being an ole coot myself, you know one them blue haired old ladies, with them ugly, half up to your knees sox on or hose, whatever they are. She gits out and starts unloading them papers too, by this time I'm gettin the picture, that ole fool in the paper ad, had my address on it and these people were bringing me all them papers. Hell soon there was more than a hunderd of em gettin mad and everything, thinkin I'm gonna pay em 50cents a pound for all them papers, hell I had to git my shot gun out just to git em to load them papers up an git outta here.

Man I was hoppin mad, took myself down to that newspaper office, walked in and yelled Imogene come here an splain to me bout this here ad.

Well Mr Bob let me see here, yep that's your ad,

I'll be dammed that ain't no ad of mine. I never placed no such thing. You people better git this right, in about ten min or less, or I'm gonna commence whuppin some ass here.

Made enuff commotion Mr Brandywine came outta his office, he said now calm down here Mr Bob, we'll figure out what the mix up is.

Mr Bob looks like this here ad was placed by Mr Cash and it was paid by cash and yes it has your address.

Well I'll be dammed, youn's know my address by now and know i didn't place no such ad, y'all better come down and pick em up, I don't want em and I ain't bout to pay all them folks no 50 cents a pound.

Well Imogene and Mr Berrywine came to my place and told all them mad people that it was a miss print, they were sorry, them people swarmed madder than hornets in a hail storm mind you.

Well Mr Berrywine was so overwhelmed he told em to bring their papers down town, to his office, and he would pay em.

Come to find out Ole Tom Muleskinner down at the old Donovan place was pullin his annual prank and I was the target. That's why Ole Bob need a gooden, got one post it in my comments for me, thanks!!!

23 comments:

Johnz said...

thats too funny:) MrBob
yu austa move fer awaey
foodcard welfare food stamp, they havin troubelz down at da pos offis with them stamp. so us po folk ups in massatusits thats in boston. , well they had put all those stamp for food on one debit card thing
mine is $200 dolerz werth, for me n mi invisibale friends:) johnzstuff. bring me food now. 5 dayz later i gots male dontcha know:)

therealbobthought said...

thank you kindly Mr.John I write this to amuse, you don't think it's to heavy do you?

Johnz said...

lmao

mi truc is smal MrBob and I gota to be sumz fude but i can buy a few pounds of yuuz

Johnz said...

wate a few weex, on johnzsuff I also said give me munie. and that is my real bank acct numberz
i may buy mor paper later:)

Political Blog said...

Why would someone buy old newspapers? Who hates you that much that he would do that do you? You know he had to pay for that ad too?

Anxious Buddhist said...

My friend did this, paid cash for a year long subscription to the local Jehova Witness center. boy... if only I could come up with that shit. I hear it works for the mormon's too.

Chase said...

Ah, now it makes sense. Unfortunately, my pranks aren't good enough. You can't fastforward the clocks in someone elses house...

just-adam-okay? said...

once, while doing commercial deliveries for USA Today, I stopped delivering the paper for a couple of weeks,let the copies build up in the truck and dumped the whole thing in the parking lot at the regional circulation office as my resignation-I would have typed a letter,but I had wasted enough paper already.

Lisa said...

You put a smile on my face on a stressful Tuesday morning. Thanks for the laugh (and the post).

Kyrie said...

o.o yer talkin' funny.

I need yer newspapers for some paper mache xD I'll buy 'em 50 cents a pop, ya got me?

Wow, everyone's commenting! xD

Jeni said...

You're a Riot! Lmao
When I was younger, I subscribed a neighbor of mine to about 30 different magazines. Just picked up those lose little cards that are all over the floor down the magazine isle at the store. Most are on a bill later term, so ya ain't gotta do much more than just fill in the address.
He was a burly macho man, so I signed him right up for all those cute little Home and Garden, Seventeen, Girls Life, etc.
He'll have to cancel all the ones he doesn't want, and if you've ever tried to do it, you know just how hard that can be.
Good luck in your quest :)

DontPatroniseMe said...

Tke a look at my blog, would love your opinion!

Ness said...

The vision of you sitting there on your chair, drinking your coffee and mocking some poor bugger... Only to become said poor bugger is priceless.
That's one of my favourite pranks I've read in a while.
I once put laxative in my boss' coffee before a big golf game. I know it's not original but, damn, it made me laugh... and got me fired!
Ness

Colin said...

Good job bob :D

Pollyanna (formerly the Laughing Idiot) said...

Sounds like someone needs a good a** kickin'

Thanks for stopping by my blog and becoming a follower!

Mike DeNeut said...

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Charlene said...

I like your style Bob! Thanks for the chuckle...

therealbobthought said...

this blog was nominated for a peoples choice award. is that cool or what?

Carl Paolo said...

I'm still laughing. omygod. Super cool story. I reallly am still laughing.

The Mathster said...

Can we vote for you somewhere kiddo? Way dool!
Sandra

Anonymous said...

You can go here to vote for Bob:
http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/i-am-in-the-papers.html#comment_682124 or follow the link on Bob's other blog. See his profile for this.

aynzan said...

This made interesting reading ..Kindled some laughter!!!

Millie River said...

This one is funny too! =D He got you good!

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I Have started this blog as a rest stop to collect my thoughts, share my ideas with my friends and to start work on what ever, I started blogging at the last of august, 2009. it says 2008, hell I don't know where they got that..lol

just kicken it around

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