Saturday, November 28, 2009
Clems Thanksgivin Lessen
Sittin on the front porch readin the paper, drinkin my coffee and waitin on Clem to come by with the mail, wavin at the people on their way to work.
I'm a just sittin here a thinkin bout whut all these folk is in a hurry bout.
Seems to me that the closer it gits to Christmas, the crazier them damned people drives. They drive so fast and weave in n out, hell you'd think they was all on go-carts or sumthin.
Clem, shows up with mail, goes inside and gits a cup of coffee, and we comence to talkin. He went to his brothers for thanksgivin, down at the ole family place and all, and he was full of news.
His mommas place, was in bad need of repair, and his damned brother, lazy ole cuss, wouldn't even fix the ole stairs goin up the back porch.
So, Clem decided, he'd fix up a few things while he was there. He went out and bought some paint, and brushes, some lumber to fix the back porch and all. He got it done and was walkin round to admire his handi work, when this big ole cur dog, come runnin into the yard. Hell, scared the pee outta him, so bad, he had to wring out his socks.
He went back up to the house and asked his brother, Jimmy, "how long these here ole wild dogs been a runnin up in here."
He said "bout a couple months now, they been runnin in a pack outta them ole woods. Ever since ole man Landry moved and the fence felled down, they been acomin up this a way ever since."
Well, hell, Jimmy, "Why haven't you fixed that damn fence then?"
Now, Jimmy is a big ole boy, Clems' baby brother and all, just lazy and a little slow mostly.
Clem, says "alrighty then, this a here is whut we are a gonna do."
"I'm gonna paint the front of the house, while you start puttin up the fece post. I'll go git all the stuff, lay it out show you where ever thing goes and all. I'll be back in about an hour with all the fencin stuff".
When Clem gits back, he takes Jimmy round the yard, he sets a bag of concrete where ever post should go and marks it with that orange markin paint.
Tells Jimmy "ever where you see these here orange marks, you dig a hole and bury a post, when you git em all done. I'll come back and put up the runners and you and I will hang this here fence."
So, Clem goes to the front of the house and start the paintin, he gits the front painted and don't hear nuthin from Jimmy. Sos he commences paintin, the north side of the house, gits it almost done, then spots Jimmy sittin on the front porch.
"Jimmy, You got them fence post ready yet", Clem yelled
"Yep, just waitin on you now," he says.
Clem climbs down the ladder, goes and gits the compressor out, sends Jimmy, after the air hose and nail gun.
He goes round to the back to git started.
"Jimmy, what the hell, wheres them posts at, thought you done had ever thing ready here."
Jimmy, yells back, "it is ready, I'll be there in just a minute."
Jimmy comes walkin back, with the nail gun and the air hose, and asks Clem, where he wants em.
"Well, I'd a want em by the first post, iffin I could find it."
"Well. hell, its right here, where you said to start." Jimmy said.
"Where the hell are they then," Clem asks?
"Well hell, your a standin on em right now," Jimmy says," right next to them sacks of concrete.
Right there where yo tole me to bury em, I buried all of em, bout, sixteen to eighteen inches down, and they is ready for that concrete now.
Man you could just see the redness wellin up in ole Clem eyes, Mr. Bob , that derned fool actually buried all them damn post, and thought that was they way its spose to be, hell, he didn't even leave a nub outta the ground to nail to.
Alls I could do was laff and ask, "sos how did you hang them fence pickets", just couldn;t hep my self.
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