Saturday, September 5, 2009

what bess wants bess gets

Bess, started one of her honey do list things, back round easter. Here it was round the Fourth of July holiday commin up, and Bess wants me to fix her up a swimmin hole before the Fourth. She has been buggin me, more like on my ass, for years for one of these things. Any ways, this swimmin hole was on the list bout  four times, figgered this is what she really wants.

I call round to git pricin and such, find out there are all kinds of these things.
In ground, above ground, blowem up quick set,and the big fiberglass ones.
Inground made with some kinda shell that goes in the ground they call it a pre-fab simming pool. hell., never heard of such.
We all ways went to the crick, dove in and swam, man that was always lots of fun, big ole hole deep enuff to dive into, we'd take a rope, tie it to this ole oak tree, and swing on over that thing and drop right in.
They, got this other kinda pool, called an above the ground swimming pool, these dang things come in all kinds of sizes and such, they look easy to put up and ain't too expensive, sounds like a maybe.
The last one, is the in-ground, made out of cement with tiles and such, man this thing, they come out with dozers, back hoes, all kinds of stuff.  Expensive. You betcha,. hell, I aint got ole, Warren Buffets money, I'm just a poor ole workin man, this en is  way outta my beer budget.

Bess, says, she don't care which, just git one an git it done, before the fourth, and even threaten me with the Cora Lee visit, hell, I couldn't go find one fast enuff.
I go round up Clem, and we go pick up the biggest one these above ground pools what you can find.
Liked the name too, EZ-panel pool, 17ft x 39ft oval thing, you know me, the ez'er the better, this thing went up easier than countin to one backwards, had all the ez-stuff that  you needed too.

Bought  four cases of beer, invited all the boys over for a pool party, no beer till the pool was up though.Well, they may have been a little upset, till I told em how ez it would be to put up, and all ,then told em I had plenty of beer, a cheer went up then. Now to work.
Bout two hours later, we had it up, and were filling the thing up with water, man it was lookin good too.Bess is thrilled, now shes got a backyard swimmin hole, and i got her off my ass.
The boys and I, are, all ready to git outta here and go fishin. So, we go git bout four more cases of beer and take off, for the Roll Gully fishin hole.
We git there and the fish is biting like, june bugs and mosquitos buzzin at night. we catch so many fish and drink all that beer, with them fish in tow, we head back to my place.

Mess of these fish still alive, so we put the live ones in the new backyard swimmin hole, man these fish are happier, than a coon that found a new dumpster.
We clean the fish for a fish fry, and go to catch the ones we done put in the new swimmin hole, cant find the nets, to catch these little fast swimmin little S>O>B>s. Gonna be an ass whuppin, for Mr Bob, iffen I dont git them fish outta there afore, bess finds out. Man I am sweatin, cannon balls ,by now, three hours later only caught half of em, we're all drunk and such and cant catch these last ones.
Ever body in this pool thing, by now drunk, with nets,  all, runnin round, like them keystone cops, on them old movies, and not catchin nothin.
Another hour and that swimmin hole, looked like the winner of a demolition derby.
I pass out, bein drunk and tired and all, sleepin god know how long when I hear this loud yell.

MR. BOB, WHAT THE HELL!!
Oops, man my head is bangin and throbin and just knew I was in some kinda truble here.
Yes, sugar plum, sweetie of my life, you callin me?
What is it my little sweetheart?
Then I spotted that damned wreck pool, oh shi....., what happened here I said, hopin to fool Bess, into thinkin, I had nothin to do with this mess, didnt work.

 I had to tear this  back yard pool down, buy another one, deck it in and all, Bess was happy, she gets her own back yard swimmin hole.
hey not bad, I take that first one, an convert it, now I got a back yard fishin hole, for me an the boys.
Yep. Bess, all ways gits what she wants.   [wink wink]

36 comments:

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Awww that's a good one.

P.S. I have an award for you on my blog:) Posted it a few days ago , so scroll down to find it.

John Silveira said...

LMFAO !!!!!! Great post... Nice to have ya back !!!! I needed a laugh

Argentum Vulgaris said...

That does it! I read that post, I followed, I almost spluttered my coffee over the screen. What more do you want of me, free bait as well?

Thanks for poppin' over my way, appreciated.

AV

Dayne Gingrich said...

Bob,

LMAO...

"just git it, and git it done!!" hahahahahaha.

My "bess" asked me to do the same thing, so I got a shovel, dug a 3' hole, got a paper cup, poored some h2o in it, and told her to have a good time ~

Gr8 post. And thanks again for your awesome review!

Argentum Vulgaris said...

I'm a sucker, I added you to my Blogger's Cafe:
http://avarchives.blogspot.com/
under Personal Blogs 2
& I added you to Life is Just Like That... http://itsnotthecoffin.blogspot.com/

AV

Charlene said...

Well told - I could totally picture it and you had me rolling. Another good one Bob!

Rae said...

You made my day. Very funny. You can sure tell a story. I laughed through the whole thing. What a guy! good thing Bess got what she wanted.

dannyd said...

Cool story! Those darn fish, they would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for that meddling Mr. Bob!

Hope that you can re-follow my blog:

http://dannysignifyingnothing.blogspot.com/

Innocent Owner of Mad Cats said...

Thank gawd!!! I got my Mr. Bob fix! LOL and it was Grade AA Bob at that.

Lisa said...

Can you come put one up in my backyard?? No fish in my pool though.

olive oyl said...

you are absolutely hilarious. and if this is all true as i think it is, then your life is pure rock n roll :D
lovely!

Dr. P. Poorluk said...

Good one Bob! I do sympathize with you though. It must be hard to corner a fish in an oval pool. Drunk to boot. Damn things! I hate it when that happens!

Cheri Pryor said...

lol!! That sounds like a story I have about my husband and a travel trailer that was supposed to be a family camping accessory....seems it's a good hunting/fishing trailer, complete with camo table cloth, oven mitts (for the fish fry on the campfire)and gun rack.

Thanks for following me and showing up...I'm totally enjoying your blog!!

Acorn said...

You asked for my comments on your colour scheme and page layout.
I cannot fault it. With a dark backgound it is difficult to find an Adsense format to suit and the white you have chosen gives a good contrast. One day we may get transparent ad backgrounds.
It is in Asenes TOS that you should now have a privacy policy on your blog.
I visited to comment on colours and ended up reading two fascinating blogs. Loved the story about the Red Indians and the mountain on your other blog.

Acorn

Shawn De Costa(ubuntusl) said...

cool blog.
http://slubuntu.blogspot.com
im ubuntusl

Millie River said...

This is the funniest story I've read in a long time! LMAO! I can see it all happening in my head, the live fish in the swimming hole, drunk men trying to catch it! Lol! Great work!

Looking For Normal said...

bob; you just make my day. nothing like a funny story to end your day. Hey, so I guess Bess wears the pants in the family?

Chester said...

Great blog once again Bob!!!

The page is looking pretty cool too, like the format!

Banksy

Becka said...

I love it. Big fan of the hill-billy style readability. I can hear that Alabama twang as I'm reading. Definitely will keep reading :)

Aree said...

WOW!!! very nice pool...love that photo.

Leah said...

Now that is epic!

What a pool story.

Hunter said...

Hi, Bob.

I enjoyed this story. Nice post!

BTW -Looks like you've got quite the following over here. That's awesome news. Keep up the good work.

SilentPoetKlaus said...

Bob next post, it will be about the improvised fish pond OK? still laffing.

just-adam-okay? said...

reminds me of when Pop had me and my brother put one up; we were just kids,so no beer-i like your version better

lifechick said...

LOL Bob!

The problem was you forgot to appoint a designated fish-wrangler. Like a designated driver, this person must stay sober, get the fish where they're supposed to go, and take responsibility for everything that goes wrong. Maybe next time! ;)

Kawaii said...

Great blog, I'm gonna follow so I can come back and visit.

Terry said...

That is a great post. I love visiting your blog. Great Job Bob!!

Mee mOe said...

Great post...

Shawn De Costa(ubuntusl) said...

Great blog buddy. Now I'm following you.
most importantly I clicked your ADS.
please click my ADS too.
I'm ubuntusl.
thanks
http://slubuntu.blogspot.com

justme said...

You are spoiling bess.

Bruce Coltin said...

Happy Birthday, Bob.

Vinay Rai said...

That's one heck of a task you have completed. I love to make money online but now I will take other things seriously too. Thanks to you.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Just came over from Mee mOe and Alpha's blogs to say Hi!
I'm loving your blog! ROFLMAO!!!
I HATE fish, and it would probably be the worst thing to find in my swimming pool!
Pay me a visit soon! Love AIW.

Sibel said...

You are so funny, love reading your blog...it is like a sitcom, funny when your look at it, not so when it happens to you. Keep on blogging

timethief said...

Ha! ha! ha! I enjoyed reading your post and visualizing the situation. A drink man catching a fish is a hilarious scenario. I'm glad Bess gets what she wants. ;)

Iellalouisa said...

I love reading your blog, you are Bess sound so sweet!

We Laugh A Lot

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I Have started this blog as a rest stop to collect my thoughts, share my ideas with my friends and to start work on what ever, I started blogging at the last of august, 2009. it says 2008, hell I don't know where they got that..lol

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