Sunday, September 13, 2009

Workin At Ole Tom's Cafe

My first job came out of a discussion with my dad, he said, boy you gotta git a job, I ain't buying you no bell bottom jeans.
Well maybe it wasn't egsactly like thet,but was really close.
When your in high school, there aren't thet many jobs to be found in these here parts. Jimmy Rays dad would hire us kids, to clean out the horse stalls, man, now theres a job fer ya, manure slinger, fly chaser, and the smell, of that green ole rodeo mud is ever where.
Then in the summer time, when its  really nice and hot, you can git a job, balin and stackin hay. Oh boy whut fun thet is, sweatin constanly, your shirt weighs more en your shoes, so you shuck it, go without one. Not to bright doin thet, I 'm  a fair haired kid, burn like bacon on a hot skittle, and itchy, man, thet stuff is itcheeey, gets in your eyes, up your nose, just plain sticks all over you, and the pay, hows ten bucks sound, yep you betcha, work like hell, sweat to death , git sun burnt, all for ten bucks..
Sos, when ole Tom Mabon, had a openin come up for his, down town, air conditioned, inside, easy to do, buss boy, dishwasher job.  I raced faster than Mario Andreti,comin out on the pole position. Got to git my butt over ther to see ole Tom, I need that kinda job.
Ole Tom, kinda liked me, thought I wuz real polite, sayin yessir, an no mamm, all the time. He knew my daddy and momma real well too. That yessir, came on a kinda my daddy, bein an ex drill sargent. and all, hell I lernt to say yessir, before I could even say dada, at least thats what moma told me..
My daddy is real proud, his son, gonna be workin for ole Tom, dontown at Tom Mabons cafe, servin coffee and such to him an all his buddies.
Well,ole Tom, teaches me how to use a mop real proper like, to sweep, clean, pick up the dishes off the tables, an how to wash em in this big ole sink. He musta been just a waitin for me to git there, them dishes were about two feet high.
Tom has a regular crowd of old coots, these ole boys ain't got nuthin better to do than just hang out an harrass me.  They start callin me Little Lucy and such, tryin to rile me up, Tom knows, I have a short fuse, sos he tells me, them boys don't mean nuthin by it, hell, they kid  thet away cause they like you.
One of these fellers, Ernine, he's an ole retired man, bitter at the world, he dont like nuthin, hes the worst of the lot.
I'm a thinkin to myself, oh yeah you betcha, gonna take real good care of you.
Ernie comes in ever afternoon, round two o'clock, I reken, he comes in then cause it's kinda quiet, and he can fuss and cuss without much truble. He always orders the same thing, grilled cheese sandwich, and a glass of tomato juice. Ernie really has some kinda problem with me, don't know why, he just don't like me thats all there is to it.
Ole Tom, has to go do some shoppin, he tells me when I came in. I think you are ready to handle it while I run a few errands , he says. Won't be busy, just go ahead clean up, sweep mop, do the regular stuff, he says. Alrighty then I can handle thet.
While ole Tom is out doin his errands and such, its really slow, onlyest customer I have, is that old grouch, Ernie.
He asks, wheres ole Tom at, real smarty like,  I told him hes out runnin his errands, and left me in charge. He laughed and said, in charge of what, this places so small a retired retarded monkey grinders pet monkey could run it, an that I was dummber than thet. Now git me my grilled cheese and tomato juice.
Man I was fumin, just hopen  ole Tom would walk though thet door and take care of this ole coot. I just go ahead, make him his grilled cheese , and get him his big ole glass of tomato juice, and serve him.
Oh no, the grilled cheese ain't grilled good enuff, he says, and wheres some tobasco sauce for this here tomato juice. Fumin I git him the tobasco sauce an re- grill his sandwich.
Real polite like I ask, enthin else, Mr. Ernie. Thank god thet ol coot said no I'm fine.Good thing, no tellin if I coulda held it back much longer, from just lettin it all go off on him. He just finished his meal and left nice and polite like.
Tom, came in directly. Asked how it went, did I have eny problems, and all thet. I said, nosir, just ole Ernie was the onlyest customer,  with his grouchy ole self, other then thet was real quiet.
Ole Tom goes, Ernine, oh no now I remember what it was I was forgettin, the damned ole tomato juice. We ran out this mornin and I was gonna try to have some here before he showed up today. Where did you find some to give him. I said, hell, there thet big ole bottle of it in the fridgerator back there. Tom says, boy, come show me right now, whut your talkin bout, I know we were out this mornin.
Sos , I take ole Tom , back to the fridgerator, an proud as a possum with a dead rat, show him thet big ole bottle of tomato juice. Well, ole Tom, falls to the floor, balls up, kicks his feet, laughin like crazy. Sayin, I been waitin for years, to get thet ole coot Ernie, some kinda pay bay back for the way he always treats me an, now you gone and done it.
I had no idea what I gone and done, but ole Tom here was sure happy about it, sos I ask.
Ole Tom, talkin through his laughter, splained to me, thet wern't no tomato juice at all, it was the big bottle of ketsup he was coolin down to cook some meatloaf with later.
Well, thet splains it then. ole coot Ernie asked for tabassco sauce, drank thet tomato juice, got real quiet and polite then left,. Ole Tom, balled up and startin laffin agin.
I figgered , I musta done ole Tom, the pay back favor he was lookin for, cause he started runnin errands ever afternoon after thet.
SIDE NOTE:  Please for give me Alpha Button Pusher, I am not the brightest bulb in the house, you see you gave me that beautiful award displayed proudly at the top left on this site now. You gave me the award, the week of September 5, being so new to this blogging and all, I had no idea what it was. "Simplify" just happens to be your motto, and if you've ever gone to the bottom of my blog, you will see it is mine as well. You have one of the nicest blogs that I have seen, and I am positive that anyone that reads my blog, would surely without any doubt love your blog, as much as I do. If it is alright with you I am going to post a link here, so that they may visit you and enjoy your blog. THANK_YOU.http://pushbuttonalpha.blogspot.com/

Miss Sandra, thank you so much for the award that you have bestowed on me, I am overwhelmed by these awards, it is posted at the top left. I know that my readers will love your blog as much as I, so I am leaving  your link here for them to visit your site. THANK YOU.http://www.realmathinaminute.blogspot.com/

vote here:   http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/i-am-in-the-papers.html#comment_686889

29 comments:

Hunter said...

The world is full of guys like Ernie, so it was fun to read your story of him getting his!

Charlene said...

You know what they say - what goes around, comes around!

Dayne Gingrich said...

I could think of a few guys I'd love to do that to (on purpose... and with worse than ketchup!)...

I was sooooo hoping you were going to say it was worse than ketchup. As I was reading, I was thinking of all the "red stuff" it could be ~ blood (saved for an emergency?)

Funkeejooce said...

Hi Bob! I really enjoyed that story and thought that was hilarious. While I was reading your post, I was thinking, if I could hear you speak, I bet you sound like those cowboys in American film. Just love it!

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Nice work lol.

teacherwriter said...

Bob, Your stories are colorful and so full of wonderful culture and dialect! I think you should consider recording them. Libraries love that kind of thing. In fact, I think the Library of Congress is campaigning to travel around the country, collecting hometown stories from people by recording them. Seriously, you should check into that.

lifechick said...

Another great story! Ol' Ernie had it coming!

Mee mOe said...

Great story, hope your having a great Monday !!!

Sandee said...

Oh my. What a tale this was. Excellent.

Have a terrific day. :)

plainolebob said...

Hunter, thanks for recog nising ernie for how he was.

Charlene, ypu got that right.

Funkeejooce, i really do sound that way whilst i'm writing too.

Alpha, thank you I love your blogs.

teacherwriter, what a great compliment from you.

Lifechick, man i can't wait for my next story lol, you make em sound so good. thanks

Mee_moe, you have such a wonderful blog thanks for taking time to read mine.

Sandee, i wish i had some good clean jokes to post on your site, they are always so funny.

Thank-you one and all, i am so happy you enjoy.

just-adam-okay? said...

good one bob

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Nicely done, Bob. Oblivious revenge.

Sandra said...

WAy to go. Now....drumroll....
You just have to go to my blog right now because there is a surprise there for you. Read Passing The Torch and enjoy!

Sandra

Mathy,Techy, Artsy Fartsy

Sara said...

lol. Thank you for the birthday wish Bob, much appreciated. As for the clown fish it was in an aquarium. Sara

BillyWarhol said...

Get a Job?? whass dat??

;))

plainolebob said...

Thanks... Adam
Nanny.. I was sue you would enjoy that.

Sara...wow it really looked like you were in the water, great job

Billy...lmao, wish i was you

LookingForNormal said...

Made my morning. You remind me of being around my family. Always looking behind your back. lol. Never know what we are going to do.

Mee mOe said...

Thanks again for the visit, I really appreciate it...have a wonderful Tuesday !!

Dominaotor said...

m coming for a party tonight

Sarah said...

i was sooo hoping the red stuff you served him was tabasco sauce!

Mahmood said...

Hi friend I visited both of your blogs today. I will visit them once in week for updates. Please visit my other blogs also. You can click 'quick look of all posts' link on the top and read the posts. You too can have feedburner feed link.

Chester said...

Another great blog Bob!

I find it funny, I have to try and work out the Americanisms first and then read it through the accent that I think you have!

All great fun!

plainolebob said...

jeff, sorry the translator, isn't working yet. lol

plainolebob said...

Looking... i pity your family then lol....
Me m... thank you for visiting, so glad you are here

Sarah.... omg girl you are mor ornery then me lmao

Dom....welcome

Innocent Owner of Mad Cats said...

Gotta a couple of Ernies come into my work. I think I'm gonna take some ketchup to work today. LOL

Shinade aka Jackie said...

LOL...I refuse to admit that I have this accent.

I am in denial!! Great story!! you are quite the one with words and details!!

I hope you have a great day!!
Jackie:-)

Bruce Coltin said...

Bob, Have you heard from Ness? Do you have any ideas as to how to get her back?

plainolebob said...

Bruce, thanks for stopping in, as far as, ness, haven't heard any thing in a while now. she was having computer problems last i heard from her.

Mike, thanks knew you would recognize an ernie.

Jackie, thanks, yes there is no denying the accent.

Pollyanna said...

Oh, Bob! I'm laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.

I worked for a crotchety butt-head once. I wanted to use that price tagger and plant tags all over his head he was so mean to me. Instead, I just walked out one day and never looked back.

You got that crotchety Ernie good - ketchup vs tomato juice - HA!

We Laugh A Lot

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I Have started this blog as a rest stop to collect my thoughts, share my ideas with my friends and to start work on what ever, I started blogging at the last of august, 2009. it says 2008, hell I don't know where they got that..lol

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