Plainole Bob Questions Mr.Bob

Just sos you know,  we git these here ground rules straight Mr. Bob, I will be askin all the questions here, an you just give me your answer.

How is it some one as ugly as you, end up with, a purty woman like Bess?

Well, I guess you could say, Bess, was just lucky. I'm considered a purty good catch here abouts. Hell. got my own pick up, got almost a hunnert dollers in the bank, all the time, hell, I still even have my own teeth. Another thing you just quit eyein Bess, she thinks your a clown, you bummble head, an I'm bein nice.

What is it you think makes you so popular in these here parts?

Well hell, ain't no mystery there, I am always stocked up in beer, an I hate to drink alone, sides that ever one them ole cusses owes me money..

Why is it you are so ornery?

Ornery, who you callin ornery, I just like to have a little fun ever now an then. Why remember, when I sent thet stripper feller up to Imogen fer her bithsay, now thet was a hoot. She was lovin it too, till ole Preacher  Jim, told her the church office, weren't no proper place fer thet kinda entertainment. Now how could thet be ornery.

How come all this crazy stuff keeps happinin to you?

Ain't no crazier then them city folks, goin to werk ever day, in thet traffik an all. Hell. when I was in Houston one time, them crazy folks had more cars then a christmas parade. They was all rushin round, in a hurry, to get to werk, gettin mad an all, had no idea thet limit was 55mph, hell, it's 40mph ever where here, an thets pushin it. They acted like I was puttin em out bout sumthin, they was only headed to werk, why the hurry.

Did you ever finish skool?

Well hell yes. Got outta , skool when I was sixteen, even made it to the eighth grade. An I been skoolin others ever since.

What is it eggsactly thet you do?

Well, I werked on boats fer a long time, bought and sold stuff, ran a bar, now thets a good job. Now, bout all I do is fish, and such, and odd jobs fer folks, hell, made a lot of money off ole Jimmy Ray, remodelin thet cafe he bought from Clem. You remember the day old hamburger joint.

Are you a hillbilly, a hick, or you just a plainole redneck?

Now I don't know eggsactly where your goin here, cause I just consider my seff a plain ole person, a little home spun and down to earth maybe, I guess I fit in all them catagorys.

What kinda politics do you practice?

You kiddin me boy? Man you gotta politik them politicians to git any thin done. They put a job out fer a new bridge here, an it went out fer bids an all. They got 3 bids. One from a feller from Texas, fer 3million dollars,

another bid from this feller that lived in some yankee state, he bid 4million daollars. Thet last bid was from Jimmy Rays' daddy, he bid 9million dollars. Jimmy Rays' daddy got the bid. He politcked, Sen. Loosepockets, about the job, told him his bid was the best fer ever one. The ole Sen., asked him how thet was, he calmly splained, 3million fer you, 3million fer me, and we let the Texican do it. Werked out ok I guess, Jimmy Rays' dad got the job.

Well I guess that about enuff fer this session, but I need to find out more later.

Alrighty then eny time.

Wanna find out more bout Mr. Bob just ask.