Aint Christmas Shopping Fun

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the land.

Shopping is hectic, got plastic in hand.

Walmart and Target are price cutting like hell.

In hopes that you'll buy from them as well.

The kids are hinting at the things they want this year.

While visions of debt is the only vision that is clear.

Mamma in rollers hunting for sales, and me at home taking a nap.

I guess something can be said about the gender gap.

When out in the parking lot, I heard something shatter,

Officer Obie, jumped into action to see whats the matter.

Alarms were blowing, and lights were flashing.

All you could see was a little ole man in a hadicap cart dashing (driving that thing at break neck speed too)

When what to your wondering eyes should appear,

The local police, in full dressed swat gear.

Poor little man in the handicap cart,

Was banned form shopping for Christmas at this Walmart.

Behind the wheel now and heading home with the loot,

The drivers are crazy, the traffic is heavy, watch out for that ole coot.

He's driving that cart, coming our way.

He acts like he's angry, hell, he's yellin "make my day"

I dont know what is under this hood, on Dancer, Vixen, or Cupid

Let's get outta here before that ole man does somethin stoopid.

So out of the parking lot I speed away, like Santa flying in his sleigh,

Man I should've shopped earlier, Like in the month of May.

When I get to house, with loot in hand,

I spring from the truck,  oh no, in dog poop I stand.

I learned my lesson, thats for sure,

Shopping for Christmas is a lot of manure.