Jimmy Rays' Brand New Truck/ Clem Fixes It

Sittin on the front porch, drinkin my coffee, readin the paper and wavin at the people on their way to work. Just another mornin in this here paradise I call my front yard world.

Along comes Jimmy Ray Morrison, ever one knows Jimmy ray, or some one like him.

Hell, any thing you done, he done did it better, TWICE.

He can tell you whut color it needs to be painted, how much to use and when to do it, TWICE.

You might think I'm a funnin, but this here guy has done did it all.

Why I even bet he was the presidents advisor, at some point and time, in history.

I bought a little six cylinder truck once, well hell, accordin to Jimmy Ray, they weren't no count, no six cylinder ever gonna do what an eighten can, ever body knows thet, you just spinnin your wheels with thet there, puny ass, truck.

That afternoon, Jimmy Ray went out and bought one them big, four door, v-8,

 pick ups, just to prove the point. His gonna be twice as good as yours, ever day of the week.

Directly, Clem stops with the mail, I proceed to tell him bout whut Jimmy Ray gone and done did. He lets out a belly laff that would scare a bald ass snake. Uh oh. done heard that laff afore.

Whuts the plan I asked.

Ain't tell you, Clem replied, uh oh, must be a doozie. Onlyest time Clem don't tell me. is when he don't want too many, chiefs, involved.

Next mornin, I'm on the front porch, drinkin my coffee. readin the paper, wavin at the people on their way to work, when Jimmy Ray, drives up, in his brand new pickup.

He tells me right off, just how nice his, brand new, pickup is. Hell he's gettin the best gas mileage ever, only one little noise he hears ever so often.

I tell him, hell, you oughtta take it back and have it checked out, "oh hell no, this here truck gets almost forty miles to the gallon, I ain't gonna let them rubes mess with it at all."

I start laffin to my self, that damn Clem gone and done sumthin.

For about a week, Jimmy Ray showed up ever mornin, braggin bout thet truck, good mileage and all.
Just a few minor noises, a few minor glitches, hell, he can live with thet. Mr. Bob, you shouda done like I tole you and bought a truck like this'en, gets good gas mileage and has plenty-o power. Yessiree this is the best way to go. Then he left.

Well Monday mornin, while I was out on the front porch, I noticed Jimmy didn't show up, hell I didn't hear a speck of nuthin from him till Thursday. Then I got a full ear for a full hour, all the woes of his new truck.

Seems, the noises got louder and worse, the gas mileage thet had been so great had dropped to nuthin.
Then while he was goin over the cattle gap he had to go through ever day, to feed the cattle, had a sharp piece of iron stickin up and punctured the tire.
He went to lower the spare, there weren't no tools, so he rigged it up with a screw driver and pipe wrench.
Got the tire on the ground, the damm thing didnt have no air in it. So now he had to call Bubba to tow it to Clearwater Truck sales.

He tole Ronnie, the service manager, he was have'n all sorts of problems with this here new truck.
First he was a gittin forty miles to a gallon, now barely five. It had a small little pingin and rattle but the noise was gettin worser ever day. It didn't have no tire tools and even if it did, the spare had no air in it.

Well Ronnie, was real nice, he said no problem Jimmy, let me take it back there to the shop and figure out what the problem is. Won't take more'n a day or two, I'm sure it will all be fine. we'll fix-er right up. Well Jimmy got the truck back, everthig was fine, it wasn't gettin bout aroun fifteen miles to the gallon, but that was about whut he spected. Only thing was, some of them shop charges weren't covered by no manufacture warrantee thing, cause he didn't spend the extra hudret dollars for it, so he ended up a payin almost fine hundret dollars extree.

Next mornin, sittin on the front porch, drinkin my coffee, readin the paper, wavin at the people on their way to work, just waitin on Clem, to bring the mail. I wanna know the "rest of the story."
Here comes Clem now, this outta be a good'en.

I tole Clem, Jimmy Ray was here yesterday, tole me this long story of woe, bout his brand new truck. Fill me in on all the details and how you pulled it off.

Clem and Ronnie, Clearwater Truck Sales, service manager, are brothers, they have lived down the road a piece, since they was all younguns together. These two brothers had been waitin for years to fix up ole Jimmy Ray, for his years of agravaten.

Ronnie, went over to Jimmy Rays at night, he'd place little tin cans with bb's and marbles in different spots on the underside wheel wells and other hard to find spots. He let the air outta the spare tire and hid the tire tools.
All the while, Clem kept addin gas to the tank the first week, then siphoned it all out the next, he saw this pulled in some movie and always wanted to do it to Jimmy Ray, worked out great.

So when Jimmy Ray finally had that brand new pickup towed in, hell, Ronnie was happier than a coon what had found a full dumpster.

Moral of the story: "don't brag to your neighbors when your cup is over flowin, you might just find your neighbors , pissin in your cup."

BIG BIG HUGS ALL ! ! ! !