Workin At Ole Tom's Cafe

My first job came out of a discussion with my dad, he said, boy you gotta git a job, I ain't buying you no bell bottom jeans.
Well maybe it wasn't egsactly like thet,but was really close.
When your in high school, there aren't thet many jobs to be found in these here parts. Jimmy Rays dad would hire us kids, to clean out the horse stalls, man, now theres a job fer ya, manure slinger, fly chaser, and the smell, of that green ole rodeo mud is ever where.
Then in the summer time, when its  really nice and hot, you can git a job, balin and stackin hay. Oh boy whut fun thet is, sweatin constanly, your shirt weighs more en your shoes, so you shuck it, go without one. Not to bright doin thet, I 'm  a fair haired kid, burn like bacon on a hot skittle, and itchy, man, thet stuff is itcheeey, gets in your eyes, up your nose, just plain sticks all over you, and the pay, hows ten bucks sound, yep you betcha, work like hell, sweat to death , git sun burnt, all for ten bucks..
Sos, when ole Tom Mabon, had a openin come up for his, down town, air conditioned, inside, easy to do, buss boy, dishwasher job.  I raced faster than Mario Andreti,comin out on the pole position. Got to git my butt over ther to see ole Tom, I need that kinda job.
Ole Tom, kinda liked me, thought I wuz real polite, sayin yessir, an no mamm, all the time. He knew my daddy and momma real well too. That yessir, came on a kinda my daddy, bein an ex drill sargent. and all, hell I lernt to say yessir, before I could even say dada, at least thats what moma told me..
My daddy is real proud, his son, gonna be workin for ole Tom, dontown at Tom Mabons cafe, servin coffee and such to him an all his buddies.
Well,ole Tom, teaches me how to use a mop real proper like, to sweep, clean, pick up the dishes off the tables, an how to wash em in this big ole sink. He musta been just a waitin for me to git there, them dishes were about two feet high.
Tom has a regular crowd of old coots, these ole boys ain't got nuthin better to do than just hang out an harrass me.  They start callin me Little Lucy and such, tryin to rile me up, Tom knows, I have a short fuse, sos he tells me, them boys don't mean nuthin by it, hell, they kid  thet away cause they like you.
One of these fellers, Ernine, he's an ole retired man, bitter at the world, he dont like nuthin, hes the worst of the lot.
I'm a thinkin to myself, oh yeah you betcha, gonna take real good care of you.
Ernie comes in ever afternoon, round two o'clock, I reken, he comes in then cause it's kinda quiet, and he can fuss and cuss without much truble. He always orders the same thing, grilled cheese sandwich, and a glass of tomato juice. Ernie really has some kinda problem with me, don't know why, he just don't like me thats all there is to it.
Ole Tom, has to go do some shoppin, he tells me when I came in. I think you are ready to handle it while I run a few errands , he says. Won't be busy, just go ahead clean up, sweep mop, do the regular stuff, he says. Alrighty then I can handle thet.
While ole Tom is out doin his errands and such, its really slow, onlyest customer I have, is that old grouch, Ernie.
He asks, wheres ole Tom at, real smarty like,  I told him hes out runnin his errands, and left me in charge. He laughed and said, in charge of what, this places so small a retired retarded monkey grinders pet monkey could run it, an that I was dummber than thet. Now git me my grilled cheese and tomato juice.
Man I was fumin, just hopen  ole Tom would walk though thet door and take care of this ole coot. I just go ahead, make him his grilled cheese , and get him his big ole glass of tomato juice, and serve him.
Oh no, the grilled cheese ain't grilled good enuff, he says, and wheres some tobasco sauce for this here tomato juice. Fumin I git him the tobasco sauce an re- grill his sandwich.
Real polite like I ask, enthin else, Mr. Ernie. Thank god thet ol coot said no I'm fine.Good thing, no tellin if I coulda held it back much longer, from just lettin it all go off on him. He just finished his meal and left nice and polite like.
Tom, came in directly. Asked how it went, did I have eny problems, and all thet. I said, nosir, just ole Ernie was the onlyest customer,  with his grouchy ole self, other then thet was real quiet.
Ole Tom goes, Ernine, oh no now I remember what it was I was forgettin, the damned ole tomato juice. We ran out this mornin and I was gonna try to have some here before he showed up today. Where did you find some to give him. I said, hell, there thet big ole bottle of it in the fridgerator back there. Tom says, boy, come show me right now, whut your talkin bout, I know we were out this mornin.
Sos , I take ole Tom , back to the fridgerator, an proud as a possum with a dead rat, show him thet big ole bottle of tomato juice. Well, ole Tom, falls to the floor, balls up, kicks his feet, laughin like crazy. Sayin, I been waitin for years, to get thet ole coot Ernie, some kinda pay bay back for the way he always treats me an, now you gone and done it.
I had no idea what I gone and done, but ole Tom here was sure happy about it, sos I ask.
Ole Tom, talkin through his laughter, splained to me, thet wern't no tomato juice at all, it was the big bottle of ketsup he was coolin down to cook some meatloaf with later.
Well, thet splains it then. ole coot Ernie asked for tabassco sauce, drank thet tomato juice, got real quiet and polite then left,. Ole Tom, balled up and startin laffin agin.
I figgered , I musta done ole Tom, the pay back favor he was lookin for, cause he started runnin errands ever afternoon after thet.
SIDE NOTE:  Please for give me Alpha Button Pusher, I am not the brightest bulb in the house, you see you gave me that beautiful award displayed proudly at the top left on this site now. You gave me the award, the week of September 5, being so new to this blogging and all, I had no idea what it was. "Simplify" just happens to be your motto, and if you've ever gone to the bottom of my blog, you will see it is mine as well. You have one of the nicest blogs that I have seen, and I am positive that anyone that reads my blog, would surely without any doubt love your blog, as much as I do. If it is alright with you I am going to post a link here, so that they may visit you and enjoy your blog. THANK_YOU.http://pushbuttonalpha.blogspot.com/

Miss Sandra, thank you so much for the award that you have bestowed on me, I am overwhelmed by these awards, it is posted at the top left. I know that my readers will love your blog as much as I, so I am leaving  your link here for them to visit your site. THANK YOU.http://www.realmathinaminute.blogspot.com/

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what bess wants bess gets

Bess, started one of her honey do list things, back round easter. Here it was round the Fourth of July holiday commin up, and Bess wants me to fix her up a swimmin hole before the Fourth. She has been buggin me, more like on my ass, for years for one of these things. Any ways, this swimmin hole was on the list bout  four times, figgered this is what she really wants.

I call round to git pricin and such, find out there are all kinds of these things.
In ground, above ground, blowem up quick set,and the big fiberglass ones.
Inground made with some kinda shell that goes in the ground they call it a pre-fab simming pool. hell., never heard of such.
We all ways went to the crick, dove in and swam, man that was always lots of fun, big ole hole deep enuff to dive into, we'd take a rope, tie it to this ole oak tree, and swing on over that thing and drop right in.
They, got this other kinda pool, called an above the ground swimming pool, these dang things come in all kinds of sizes and such, they look easy to put up and ain't too expensive, sounds like a maybe.
The last one, is the in-ground, made out of cement with tiles and such, man this thing, they come out with dozers, back hoes, all kinds of stuff.  Expensive. You betcha,. hell, I aint got ole, Warren Buffets money, I'm just a poor ole workin man, this en is  way outta my beer budget.

Bess, says, she don't care which, just git one an git it done, before the fourth, and even threaten me with the Cora Lee visit, hell, I couldn't go find one fast enuff.
I go round up Clem, and we go pick up the biggest one these above ground pools what you can find.
Liked the name too, EZ-panel pool, 17ft x 39ft oval thing, you know me, the ez'er the better, this thing went up easier than countin to one backwards, had all the ez-stuff that  you needed too.

Bought  four cases of beer, invited all the boys over for a pool party, no beer till the pool was up though.Well, they may have been a little upset, till I told em how ez it would be to put up, and all ,then told em I had plenty of beer, a cheer went up then. Now to work.
Bout two hours later, we had it up, and were filling the thing up with water, man it was lookin good too.Bess is thrilled, now shes got a backyard swimmin hole, and i got her off my ass.
The boys and I, are, all ready to git outta here and go fishin. So, we go git bout four more cases of beer and take off, for the Roll Gully fishin hole.
We git there and the fish is biting like, june bugs and mosquitos buzzin at night. we catch so many fish and drink all that beer, with them fish in tow, we head back to my place.

Mess of these fish still alive, so we put the live ones in the new backyard swimmin hole, man these fish are happier, than a coon that found a new dumpster.
We clean the fish for a fish fry, and go to catch the ones we done put in the new swimmin hole, cant find the nets, to catch these little fast swimmin little S>O>B>s. Gonna be an ass whuppin, for Mr Bob, iffen I dont git them fish outta there afore, bess finds out. Man I am sweatin, cannon balls ,by now, three hours later only caught half of em, we're all drunk and such and cant catch these last ones.
Ever body in this pool thing, by now drunk, with nets,  all, runnin round, like them keystone cops, on them old movies, and not catchin nothin.
Another hour and that swimmin hole, looked like the winner of a demolition derby.
I pass out, bein drunk and tired and all, sleepin god know how long when I hear this loud yell.

MR. BOB, WHAT THE HELL!!
Oops, man my head is bangin and throbin and just knew I was in some kinda truble here.
Yes, sugar plum, sweetie of my life, you callin me?
What is it my little sweetheart?
Then I spotted that damned wreck pool, oh shi....., what happened here I said, hopin to fool Bess, into thinkin, I had nothin to do with this mess, didnt work.

 I had to tear this  back yard pool down, buy another one, deck it in and all, Bess was happy, she gets her own back yard swimmin hole.
hey not bad, I take that first one, an convert it, now I got a back yard fishin hole, for me an the boys.
Yep. Bess, all ways gits what she wants.   [wink wink]